Ever since I re-dedicated my life to God, I have found that my senses are heightened like nothing I've ever experienced. I am so emotional...I cry at the drop of a hat lol. (Okay, so I have always been a little sappy, but this is sappy on Miracle Grow lol) I am kind of feeling like I did when I got sober, when I was finally able to feel, only this is way better. I was already feeling, but now I have a much greater awareness of the importance of EVERYTHING.
I have been thinking about my kids a lot lately. It's like their entire lives are on autoplay in my head whenever I think of them. When my son walks in and says, "Hey, Momma..", I don't just see a tall, lanky 17 year old young man, I see the toe-headed 4 year old who was afraid of waves, and the baseball/basketball/football/tennis player throughout the years, and hearing the "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh" of a two year old wearing Tigger footie jammies coming down the hall. And when I'm talking to my 21 year old daughter about her moving into her and her boyfriends' new home, I envision the buck-toothed 6 year old with an arm full of kittens, and the softball player throughout the years, and the drum major leading the band. It's like every memory I have of the two of them comes rushing at me everything I talk to them or think of them.
I have just been spending a lot of time thanking God for the gift of my children that He has given to me. I realized a few years back that in them, God has given me what I had been searching for my entire life: someone to love me unconditionally for the rest of my life. I looked in all the wrong places, (thought just popped into my head) and ultimately, what I had been searching for was within myself all along. WOW! That's AMAZING!! I totally just got that! lol....sooo...okay! Exciting stuff! (For anyone reading that does NOT know me...yes, yes I am a dork! lol)
I am so blessed to have been given the kids that I have, that they are good kids, and most amazing to me, is that they still like me. That totally just blows my mind. It never ceases to amaze me to pick out mine or my husband's traits in them...it's just such a miracle. Aghhhh!!! Here come the waterworks! lol. I just love them more than I thought it was possible to love, and I thank God for that wonderful gift!
"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you have blessed me with. I especially thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful husband, and two great children. Please, Lord, watch over them and keep them healthy, happy, and safe. Amen."