Disappointed

I was so excited about a prospective business venture, and after viewing a presentation, I was convinced that it was a good thing.  But, as I began reading the business prospectus, I started to have doubts as to the validity and integrity of the venture.  My research so far hasn't turned up anything negative, but I have do have some doubts.  Perhaps that doubt will ensure I do my due diligence completely, to satisfy any doubts I may have, I don't know.  But I do know that if I were to go ahead with the business, I think it would be the perfect fit for me; I do have a lot of research to do, though, and for the first time, I think, I won't jump in head first, without knowing all the facts.  So, I will continue to pray about it, and I won't move ahead with anything unless I have no doubts whatsoever.  I have faith that if I trust Him, God will lead me in the right direction.

I am also disappointed in my inability, so far, to be able to give up my TV.  It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud, but I guess I never realized just how much I enjoy watching it.  I know my life is actually better without it, but I just have to keep praying for God to help me let it go.  My favorite thing to do in the evening is to sit and watch one of my favorite shows while I eat ice cream.  I look forward to it like I used to look forward to a drink (okay, well, maybe more than just one drink...) (or whatever) when I got home and knew I didn't have to go anywhere for the rest of the night.  I guess that's why I'm having such a hard time letting it go...it's transference...man, if that's not a bummer...

"Lord, please help me to let go of the things in my life that don't glorify you.  Help me, Lord, to have faith that you will provide me with greater feelings of satisfaction if I surrender to you and keep my focus on you and your will.  Lord, please guide me in my research of this business venture, and let me know what I should do.  Help me, Lord, to be patient, and not move forward until you have assured me that it is right, and help me to put aside what I WANT in order to do the right thing for our family.  Lord, I love you and I praise you. In Jesus' name, Amen."