I simply can't get over the changes God had done and is doing in my life. I catch myself thinking, "maybe I'm just fooling myself, and maybe it's not for real, and maybe I'm faking it..." I think it has to do with the fact that in most aspects of my life, I have been a freud, really. I seriously don't know how I made it through boot camp, or 4 years of active duty, because I certainly didn't earn it...I skated by, as I feel like I did in college, and everything else in my life. I have always felt like a freud, and maybe that's just a feeling I'm used to; I don't know.
But when I step back and look at the whole picture...the changes God is doing in me is unmistakeable. I AM worthy of His love, and He HAS given me His grace, and I CAN accept it...Those are totally new concepts for me. I look at how I react to certain situations or people, and God is the ONLY explanation. Only HE can take away the anger, and frustration, and intolerance that have lived within me for so long. I find myself praying for those that used to cause me to darn near explode with anger, and praying for Him to change my heart so that I can love others and not judge them.
For those who know me well, you know that the changes in me most certainly didn't come from within myself, lol. I am normally irritable and uptight, and tonight, I am simply feeling at peace. At peace with mylife, and not wanting for anything more. God had truly blessed me with a wonderful family, and our health, and our happiness. We have all the necessities, and much more. What more could I ask for? Not a darn thing!
"God, I am so grateful for the AMAZING work you are doing not only in my life, but in the lives of my loved ones as well. You are such a loving God; you love me for who I am, unconditionally, and without reservation. You will never leave me, and I can count on you for all my needs. Thank you, Lord, for all that you are, and all that you do. In Jesus' name, Amen."